Doctor, Doctor. Can You Tell Me?

I must say from the outset that, despite my reservations about conventional medicine, I have always received the best of care from the medical system here on the West Coast.

Why have I always had concerns? Too much exposure to it over the years I suppose.  I have seen first hand that treating only the symptoms, and not the whole person, is not very effective. And certainly not the best use of our tax dollars.

Now, when I needed medical help once again, it  has been no different. Everyone in our medical system has been so kind and helpful. (As long as you don’t colour outside the lines that is.)




I explained my discovery of a lump to my doctor’s receptionist, and she squeezed me in within a couple of days. That was quick and I really appreciated it. My doctor was wonderful, as always.

Unfortunately, the C word was said out loud for the first time.  “I am confident that it is cancer,” my doctor said, “A cyst would be soft. A cancer tumor is hard. ” I didn’t know that. Huh.

My heart just sank, and I was overcome with the struggle between denial and reality. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. It was like a dream really. I had to concentrate with everything in me to hear and understand what my doctor was saying.

In hindsight I realize that, at that moment, I was going in to protection mode and disconnecting from my body. What she was saying to me was just too painful to hear.

She continued, ” I am going to schedule you for a mammogram and a biopsy. I am also going to schedule an appointment for you with the surgeon. ”

What?! A surgeon! Hold on a minute. Hearing those words spoken out loud by my doctor, I really began to panic and sweat. My heart was racing. My situation was becoming all too real. Too quickly.

She must have seen the look of panic on my face for my doctor continued, ” The reason I want to schedule the surgeon now, is so that you won’t have to wait. It can take weeks to get in to see a surgeon. If the results of your biopsy are positive, which I am sure they will be, you will already be scheduled to see your surgeon, saving you valuable time. If the results are negative, well then we can just cancel the appointment. ”

My doctor is nothing if not efficient. And I like that. Most of the time. In hindsight though, I now see that it was the beginning of a head long rush through procedures and protocols that prevented me from taking the time to catch my breath, get past my fear, allow me the time to process what was happening, educate myself, and make sound decisions about my own health based on my values.

I left the doctor’s office in a daze. I don’t remember walking to my truck. I don’t know how long I sat there, numb.

The appointment with my doctor was to confirm that there was a lump and, I guess a part of me was hoping she would tell me it was nothing. Instead, I had just chosen my surgeon not two minutes ago! I started to shake and I broke down sobbing.

I remember calling my friend Karen, because I was supposed to have lunch with her that day. But I don’t remember anything after that. My angels must have been watching over me to ensure that I arrived home safely because I don’t know how I drove home. I don’t even remember driving home.

Please, if you have a doctor’s appointment, and there is even the remotest possibility that the news you are expecting is not good, do not, I repeat, do not drive yourself to the appointment!

If you have received a negative diagnosis or there is the possibility of a negative diagnosis, take the time to process and research your options, including conventional and natural treatments. Many cancers are actually slow growing and have been in your body for some time.

You have the time.

If you have enjoyed reading my post, please donate to my crowdfunding efforts to pay for my medical expenses. Thank you. GOD bless.

About the author


I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2014. I invite you to join me on my cancer journey as I share my experiences and the messages I received along the way about life and living.

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